Never Accepted
by ShiawasenaKo
Summary: A Yazoo point of view story. Yazoo reflects on life with Kadaj, as he is tormented mentally by Sephiroth. May contain spoilers! Hints towards YK.


Kadaj was always most like Sephiroth. Well... in the sense that he was different from everyone else. Even us. I think the worst of it all was that he knew. He knew from the beginning what was to become of him.

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The little thing chirped, obviously in pain. It's wing was tilted painfully to the left. It let out cries of desperation. For something to come along and help. Shadows fell over the bird as the three brothers looked down at it. Loz looked over to Yazoo, who in turn, eyed Kadaj. They remained silent for a moment. Yazoo was always the one to break the silence.

"It's hurt," he commented. They were still so small, under five years of age. Loz sniffled slightly, biting at his sleeve.

"What are we gonna do?" he asked the other in a muffled voice.

"I don't know..." Yazoo retorted. "Maybe someone else can help it..." He looked around. No one. No one anywhere, actually.

Kadaj watched the little bird, an intense look in his eyes. He looked to Yazoo, then to Loz, who was wearing a hole in his shirt by now. He shook his head, and reached down, grabbing onto the little bird. The bird let out a pitiful scream as the boy took it's head between his small fingers. There was a loud, time-freezing snap. The little bird went limp, and landed with a thump on the ground.

Both Yazoo and Loz were speechless for a moment. How... How could he have... did the youngest even realize... what he had done? Loz, at that point, let go of his sleeve, and started sobbing. Yazoo looked down at the dead body of the bird, then up to Kadaj.

"... Why? Why'd you do it?"

Kadaj seemed to not know what to say. He kept staring at the corpse, and after a moment, lifted his eyes to his older brother's.

"Because... He told me to. He said it would make everything better... He said it would."

Yazoo blinked again, stepping up beside the younger, placing a hand on his arm. Kadaj immediately pulled away, which had never happened before. Kadaj's body shook lightly. Although, he was not crying. Who... was he talking about...? There was no one there but the three of them.

"Kadaj, who told you to?"

Another long pause. Kadaj turned around to look at Yazoo.

"Niisan."

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It seems like a dream now. Some time after this, we discovered who he was talking about. Sephiroth-niisan. He had picked Kadaj to be his new body. We all knew there was nothing we could do to stop things from happening to Kadaj. We didn't know, however, the extent to which things would go. His purpose was to become Sephiroth. His reason for being was Sephiroth.

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The loud thump from the room sent Yazoo running in. Worry filled him. If anything happened to Kadaj... He opened the door, completely forgetting to knock, something Kadaj was very adamant about.

"Kadaj? Are... you alright? I heard a... noise..."

Kadaj stood, silent for a moment. He held his right hand to his chest. As if he were nurturing it.

"Nothing," he replied, turning to Yazoo, who blinked in response. Kadaj... had changed his hairstyle. He now had it blocking the vision of his left eye. "I hit the wall," he continued. "It's nothing." After a moment, Yazoo stepped forward, a little smile on his face, holding out his hand for his younger brother's.

"Here... let me see your hand. Make sure nothing's broken."

Kadaj waited a moment before complying, placing his hand in his brother's. It hurt. Yazoo took it gently, running his fingers over the wrist, watching to see if he would wince. Nothing.

"So you've changed your hair, I see. Any reason?"

"No." Kadaj's answer was too quick and short for it to be true. Yazoo knew. He nodded, patting the boy's hand.

"Well, looks like it's alright. Might bruise over a little. Why'd... you hit the wall, anyway?"

"... I just did." Kadaj turned away. Another sign that he was lying to Yazoo. The older brother stared at him for a moment.

"Kadaj... tell me the truth. What happened?"

"... Just... Nii-... No. Nothing happened. I just... hit the wall, okay?" A defensive tone. It was a normal Kadaj thing to do. Yazoo shook his head, never letting his eyes fall from Kadaj.

"Niisan again? What happened?"

Kadaj seemed to shudder at the mentioning of it, and it broke Yazoo's heart to think he couldn't help him through this. How could he? Especially is Kadaj wasn't telling him anything. The shuddering slowly turned into a light shake that consumed the young boy's body. Yazoo's eyes widened slightly.

"Let me see your eye." He reached forward, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. Kadaj looked up at him through his right eye, wide with fear.

"NO!" he screamed, pulling back. He took a couple steps backwards, staring at Yazoo. No. No one could see it.

Yazoo let out a long sigh before stepping forward, once more, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. Kadaj moved his hand up to the hair, as if to block it, but Yazoo grabbed the wrist before it could make it up. Slowly, he removed the hair. Kadaj looked away. His right eye had changed. It now resembled a lifeless, dark green orb. This was the eye of Sephiroth. No wonder he was so freaked out. Kadaj shook the hair back in front of his eye, although, he never shifted his glance back to his brother.

"I told you... not to look."

Yazoo only frowned, and pulled his brother into a hug. It hurt so much to see him like this. So afraid, and alone. Sephiroth had chosen him. Neither Yazoo or Loz could do anything about that.

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I think the nights scared Kadaj more than anything. He always got very edgy before falling asleep. I think that was when Sephiroth would talk to him. More like torment.

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Yazoo shifted sleepily. Something was making noise. He sat up, groggily, and looked over at the clock. 3:42? He blinked, looking to his left. Loz was in that room... He had a habit of sleep-talking. But... The noise wasn't coming from there. He shifted his glance to the right, where Kadaj's room was. He was up out of bed in another moment, and standing in front of Kadaj's door. He waited a moment, then pressed his ear against the wood.

"Get-him-out, get-him-out, get-him-out, get-him-out of my head. I don't want him in my head anymore..." The voice was shaky, scared beyond all reasoning. The voice never rose above a whimper.

"I'm not your puppet. I'm not your puppet. Get out of my head!" It was so desperate. A cry for anything to snap him back to reality.

Yazoo couldn't take it anymore. He opened the door, slowly, and looked in. The moonlight outlined the figure of his brother, shaking, knees tucked into his chest, and both of his palms at his temples. His fingers were knotted in his hair. Kadaj didn't notice at first, and continued talking to the invisible tormentor. It was only when Yazoo touched his shoulder gently, he snapped out of it, and looked up at his brother. Tears formed in his eyes. Yazoo opened his arms, and Kadaj complied, leaning into Yazoo's strong body.

"It's alright," the elder whispered. "It's going to work out, Kadaj."

There was no response from him. And the silence spoke for him instead.

Things would not work out for Kadaj. Not ever.

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On those nights, Kadaj and I shared special moments. What I did to him probably ended up hurting him more, but, at the time, I thought it helped. It always seemed to help. Help him get rid of the pain. It was all I could do. The reunion plan continued without fail. Kadaj, somewhere in all this, finally accepted his fate.

But just because he accepted it... never meant that I did.


End file.
